Choices! Choices! It's just no fair - Deciding anything is my worst nightmare.
Even today I labored about – what to wear before I went out.
Shorts cuz it’s sunny? Jeans cuz I like em? A pair of capris? If I’m hot I can ‘hike em.’
A tank top? A t-shirt? A layer on top? A sweater in case the temperature drops?
If I go out to dine I never pick first – what I’ll eat to fill up on or quench my thirst.
"What are you getting?" I’ll ask everyone - and then make my selections when theirs are all done.
I have to know what they’re going to eat -- Or when they get theirs I might wish it for me.
If I get a burger with fixins and such and their stuff looks better- I won’t like mine as much.
If I order pizza I won’t like my take - when their waitress brings them hashbrowns and steak.
If we go to a movie I never can pick - Between action, or romance or comedy schtick.
What if I choose & we don’t like what we see? It’s too much responsibility.
When buying flowers with hubby this week - he said, “Well, do you like anything that you see?”
Geraniums, Marigolds, Petunias and such – "Yes, yes, I like all of them... much!”
He leaned on one leg and shifted his side – and his irritation got too hard to hide.
“Can’t you find something to get the job done? Please, hurry – soon, this isn’t much fun.”
Baskets or flats? The red or the blue? I couldn’t decide on a type - or a hue!!!
I picked a few things and took them all home and still went back twice – but those times alone.
He’s well aware of my shortcomings now – In decision making on whats where’s and hows.
For 24 years he’s sighed and he’s moaned – rolled his eyes and quietly groaned.
He can’t gripe too much cuz’ I have one on him. A choice he can’t make- again and again.
When he sits on the sofa to watch the TV the channel flipping goes on endlessly.
News and then sports then music that’s groovy – and maaaaybe nine minutes of some random movie.
Then sports again and maybe the weather. "Come on Man! I want to scream – Get it together!!"
Pick something to watch then I’ll watch with you. But if you keep flipping I’m outta here dude.
There’s one choice I make that’s easy for me – My hubby can have that HD TV.
If I have an evening with time I can spare – I know how to spend that and I know just where.
I’ll lay on the couch with the cat in my crook. And open the page of a very good book.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Lettttttttttttttttt's Plaaaaaaaaay Ball
It rained.
But only for a while.
And not enough to dampen the excitement of a day at the ball park.
The new one.
The one that cost millions and millions and millions of dollars.
To watch the ball players play -
The ones that cost millions and millions of dollars.
For the first visit we even
sprung
for the good seats.
It was a great day to play hookey.
At the ball park.
With friends.
Too bad our team lost.
DAD
The campfire’s lit and the embers all burn bright
But there is one empty chair at the fire now at night
He’d be here if he could to tend the burning flame
But from this moment on – Nothing will be the same.
One of the most generous people that you’ll find…
And the laughter that he gave us - just one gift he left behind.
Even when things got as badly as they could
He tried to pretend, for us, that he felt good.
The day that they told us, and said, “It won’t be long.”
He said, “All I ever wanted was to take good care of mom.”
As a dad he always had the time to talk and have some fun.
Ribbing all the grandkids and entertaining everyone.
We all loved to hear the stories of his years as a kid -
And the funny, naughty things those local boys and brothers did.
As a man he was a model for others to aspire
Welcoming even strangers – to those nightly summer fires.
A boiling pot of stew that didn’t seem to have an end
When we’d come home for the weekend with our kids and any friends.
"Come home with us this weekend,” we would tell friends that we had, “
"You have to come there with us. You guys will love my dad.”
He waited 37 years to come back and make a start
On the land that always seemed to tug a little at his heart.
He never traveled far away as many people know –
He said, “There’s no where else but here that I’ve wanted much to go.”
Surely even deer and birds - are wondering just where
The man is that gave them such kind and loving care.
Life is not always fair or good and kind.
And he wasn’t yet quite ready to leave those he loved behind.
Still we’ll light the fires when we’re home to end the day –
And know though the chair is empty, He’s still sits there anyway.
So if you see the flame burn brightly and you happen to pass by
Just like the days when he was tending. Pull in, sit down, say, “Hi.”
But there is one empty chair at the fire now at night
He’d be here if he could to tend the burning flame
But from this moment on – Nothing will be the same.
One of the most generous people that you’ll find…
And the laughter that he gave us - just one gift he left behind.
Even when things got as badly as they could
He tried to pretend, for us, that he felt good.
The day that they told us, and said, “It won’t be long.”
He said, “All I ever wanted was to take good care of mom.”
As a dad he always had the time to talk and have some fun.
Ribbing all the grandkids and entertaining everyone.
We all loved to hear the stories of his years as a kid -
And the funny, naughty things those local boys and brothers did.
As a man he was a model for others to aspire
Welcoming even strangers – to those nightly summer fires.
A boiling pot of stew that didn’t seem to have an end
When we’d come home for the weekend with our kids and any friends.
"Come home with us this weekend,” we would tell friends that we had, “
"You have to come there with us. You guys will love my dad.”
He waited 37 years to come back and make a start
On the land that always seemed to tug a little at his heart.
He never traveled far away as many people know –
He said, “There’s no where else but here that I’ve wanted much to go.”
Surely even deer and birds - are wondering just where
The man is that gave them such kind and loving care.
Life is not always fair or good and kind.
And he wasn’t yet quite ready to leave those he loved behind.
Still we’ll light the fires when we’re home to end the day –
And know though the chair is empty, He’s still sits there anyway.
So if you see the flame burn brightly and you happen to pass by
Just like the days when he was tending. Pull in, sit down, say, “Hi.”
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Me. Unplugged.
It's been a month.
Maybe it's been a short month - but it's a month nonetheless. Twenty-eight days doth a month make, especially if it's February - and what a February it was.
An unexpected family illness has taken me away from my home for a few days a week all of February.
It's not far away - an hour and half - but it's far enough to remove me from simple conveniences like cell phone service and high speed internet.
These are things I didn't even know existed when most of my kids were born. Nonetheless, somehow, now they have become important to the way I live my life.
The internet is instrumental to the work I do. As a freelancer I use it for research, for writing copy and for turning in assignments, preferably before they are due.
I use my cellphone for my work, too - to do interviews and to communicate with editors when even e-mail isn't fast enough.
Daily I use my cellphone to communicate with my children. Especially the two that are in college. And the other one, who still needs rides to and from practices with times that are ever changing.
But with this new life twist that has taken me away from reliable cell phone service (except for this one place, a sweet spot, standing right up against the window pane in a spare bedroom), I have begun to do more of the dreading texting. (For someone who types every single day for most of the day I am surprisingly inept on a cell phone keyboard). I find it tedious and exhausting - but it's getting a little easier.
The internet connection I have been using is dial up. Ergo if I use the internet I make it somewhat quick because the internet also ties up the reliable telephone line. Something I'd completely forgot about for a few days.
But as the weeks have continued I have come to realize something.
I miss time.
Downtime, free time, extra time.
Maybe everything doesn't have to be an immediate rush job. When the two minutes or so it seems to take to send an e-mail used to be excruciating, now I sit back in the chair and relax. Spin a little, hum, and then celebrate the little victory when the screen signifies a successful delivery.
When I used to talk endlessly on my cellphone (probably about nothing special) a text or two a day as an exchange with my kids serves the purpose just as well. I know everyone is fine - which is really all that matters.
And I am reading!! Alot. Which I do anyway but now it seems a little more rewarding.
Without endlessly surfing on the internet as a distraction, the pages of the books I've wanted to get to are turning twice as fast.
Leaning against the arm of the sofa visiting with my parents is entertainment enough and sometimes, my cellphone isn't even in the same room I am. Which is an interesting discovery because previously I returned home multiple times a week to retrieve it because spending a couple of hours without it was becoming unheard of.
So if you call me these days chances are the phone doesn't register such a thing and I'm into a good chapter of a book. And if you e-mail me and it takes a little longer for me to respond it's because I'm not able to check my messages every hour on the hour like before. And maybe I'm listening to a good story from my parents or their friends and neighbors who stop by.
I will reply. Just give me time.
And take a little for yourself.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Lovin' My Jens
Sometimes I obsess.
When I love something I love it a lot.
(See: Frozen ice pops, sunflower seeds, chewing gum, kittens, Grey's Anatomy - the early years, ice cold beer, reading good books and discovering oh so cool people.)
It's been my good fortune lately to discover a couple more oh so cool people.
My Jens.
I dream about some day saying things like, "Hey Jen, Let's have lunch," "I'll call you tonight Jen," "Do you want to come over later, Jen?" You know, all the things I say to my real life friends.
Jen No. 1 logs in at 3'2" tall but her personality is BIG. She is funny and kind and smart and sweet. All the things I happen to like about all of my other (read real life) friends.
Her marriage seems intact, for a reality star, that is.
She has obviously overcome many hurdles in her life - because she is a doctor (which is probably a little more notable than the reality star part).
I enjoy watching her get through each episode being sweet to her husband and not pausing even once when she goes out to eat and asks for linen to sit on or toting a stool to a cooking class to stand on.
I think she would be one of those friends that tells you to just get out there and try -because you can do anything - she has. If you haven't seen The Little Couple yet dial it up. (Sigh! After the heartbreak that became Jon and Kate Plus Eight Jen Arnold is restoring my faith.)
When I love something I love it a lot.
(See: Frozen ice pops, sunflower seeds, chewing gum, kittens, Grey's Anatomy - the early years, ice cold beer, reading good books and discovering oh so cool people.)
It's been my good fortune lately to discover a couple more oh so cool people.
My Jens.
I dream about some day saying things like, "Hey Jen, Let's have lunch," "I'll call you tonight Jen," "Do you want to come over later, Jen?" You know, all the things I say to my real life friends.
Her marriage seems intact, for a reality star, that is.
She has obviously overcome many hurdles in her life - because she is a doctor (which is probably a little more notable than the reality star part).
I enjoy watching her get through each episode being sweet to her husband and not pausing even once when she goes out to eat and asks for linen to sit on or toting a stool to a cooking class to stand on.
I think she would be one of those friends that tells you to just get out there and try -because you can do anything - she has. If you haven't seen The Little Couple yet dial it up. (Sigh! After the heartbreak that became Jon and Kate Plus Eight Jen Arnold is restoring my faith.)
I do not know how tall Jen Lancaster is.
I do know she is wickedly funny, sarcastic, and brutally honest, everything I like about the rest of my (real life) friends.
When I read the first one of her books I immediately hopped on line and ordered three more. ( Actually I ordered FOUR more even though there were only three more at the time - I had a couple of beers and somehow magically said I desired two of one title. Oh Jen! We have so much in common! (She shops on line with interesting results after drinking too.) However, when the royalty checks arrive - remember, I did you a solid.
This Jen might be the anti-Jen Arnold (see above).
She posesses a love of cursing that would make my mother cry. But I can guarantee you this - she would not be boring!
I'm not at red alert stalker status but when my girls were home over Christmas break I was knee deep into multiple books by my new favorite author and was busted more than once saying things like, "You know, Jen has cats, too." or "You know, Jen really likes this reality show too." To which one of the girls I gave birth to looked at me and said, "You mean the author-of-the-book-you're-reading-who-you-don't-even-really-know?!!"
Whatever. Non-fiction can be that way. I have a window to her world.
I do know she is wickedly funny, sarcastic, and brutally honest, everything I like about the rest of my (real life) friends.
When I read the first one of her books I immediately hopped on line and ordered three more. ( Actually I ordered FOUR more even though there were only three more at the time - I had a couple of beers and somehow magically said I desired two of one title. Oh Jen! We have so much in common! (She shops on line with interesting results after drinking too.) However, when the royalty checks arrive - remember, I did you a solid.
This Jen might be the anti-Jen Arnold (see above).
She posesses a love of cursing that would make my mother cry. But I can guarantee you this - she would not be boring!
I'm not at red alert stalker status but when my girls were home over Christmas break I was knee deep into multiple books by my new favorite author and was busted more than once saying things like, "You know, Jen has cats, too." or "You know, Jen really likes this reality show too." To which one of the girls I gave birth to looked at me and said, "You mean the author-of-the-book-you're-reading-who-you-don't-even-really-know?!!"
Whatever. Non-fiction can be that way. I have a window to her world.
The fun thing is - Jen Lancaster has a new book coming out and the Captain and I do make yearly treks to Chicago (Home of 'the Bean', Navy Pier, Wrigley Field and Jeeeeeeen Lancaster) to visit friends and take in a ballgame but ... wouldn't it be fab if it was during one of her book signing???!!!!! Cubs Schmubs - Team Lancaster!!!!
I like the Jens.
I like the Jens.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
5 a.m. Aaaaargh!
I know there are people who enjoy rising out of their warm beds ridiculously early.
You revel in beating the sun out of bed, enjoying the quiet in those last few moments before the rest of the world begins its' hustle and bustle.
There are no awards for this, but you do get to say cool things like, "I've been up for hours already," or "I have all of my work done before most people even think about getting out of bed."
This week I will be one of you. Because, apparently coaches and players in the son my sport loves also love to rise early and hit the ice for a rousing pre-dawn practice.
Because this is the horrifying time my alarm will be set for tomorrow morning. And Tuesday. And Thursday.
You revel in beating the sun out of bed, enjoying the quiet in those last few moments before the rest of the world begins its' hustle and bustle.
There are no awards for this, but you do get to say cool things like, "I've been up for hours already," or "I have all of my work done before most people even think about getting out of bed."
This week I will be one of you. Because, apparently coaches and players in the son my sport loves also love to rise early and hit the ice for a rousing pre-dawn practice.
Because this is the horrifying time my alarm will be set for tomorrow morning. And Tuesday. And Thursday.
Early morning hockey practices be damned!
Coffee pot - you have been put on notice.
Habitual early risers - you have my respect.
Early morning travelers on Hwy. 210 - Consider yourself warned: The site you may see in the grey Honda Accord will not be pretty.
It's going to be a long week.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Sub-Zero ponderings
We are about a handful of days into a cold spell where we live.
I mean a c-c-c-c-old spell.
When my alarm goes off each morning I have it set on the local radio station so I can rise from my grogginess to soak up all the information I need to start the day.
I like to wake up to the national news, have the local news read to me from the newspaper so the surprise is gone when I get my own copy out of the mailbox and to find out what the day's forcast holds for us. This past week the on-air voice has broken the bad news repeatedly with temperatures at 6 a.m. being -27, -23, -25. It's enough to make me put the electric blanket on high and turn the alarm off altogether.
Our cars register their own complaints when we go to start them. Errrr.... Errrrr.... Errrrrrr....and pipes that aren't insulated enough against the sub-zero readings don't have the ammunition they need to withstand the cold. Some immediately cease to dispense water to their owners.
In my own home I have noticed a draft. Between the front door and the frame. It magically appeared when the artic temperatures hit. Unnoticable before, now that the temperature has dipped this low even the cats take the long way around the area.
An old blanket now temporarily covers the gap until the days once again rise above zero.
I monitor the thermometer in our house these days like a Kensington Palace Guard - lest one of my kids (or my sneaky, sneaky, husband) inch the setting above what I deem suitable for the budget.
"Listen here!" I announced last night, "My friend in Chicago has taken her family down to 62 degrees!!!! Sixty-two degrees I tell you! Can't you people toughen up?! I was hoping to take a vacation this year! You can pick - One less layer now - or a picture in front of Mount Rushmore in July!!!!"
Any trip away from the house has to be weighted as to whether it's worth going out into a cold car twice.
I mean a c-c-c-c-old spell.
When my alarm goes off each morning I have it set on the local radio station so I can rise from my grogginess to soak up all the information I need to start the day.
I like to wake up to the national news, have the local news read to me from the newspaper so the surprise is gone when I get my own copy out of the mailbox and to find out what the day's forcast holds for us. This past week the on-air voice has broken the bad news repeatedly with temperatures at 6 a.m. being -27, -23, -25. It's enough to make me put the electric blanket on high and turn the alarm off altogether.
Our cars register their own complaints when we go to start them. Errrr.... Errrrr.... Errrrrrr....and pipes that aren't insulated enough against the sub-zero readings don't have the ammunition they need to withstand the cold. Some immediately cease to dispense water to their owners.
In my own home I have noticed a draft. Between the front door and the frame. It magically appeared when the artic temperatures hit. Unnoticable before, now that the temperature has dipped this low even the cats take the long way around the area.
An old blanket now temporarily covers the gap until the days once again rise above zero.
I monitor the thermometer in our house these days like a Kensington Palace Guard - lest one of my kids (or my sneaky, sneaky, husband) inch the setting above what I deem suitable for the budget.
"Listen here!" I announced last night, "My friend in Chicago has taken her family down to 62 degrees!!!! Sixty-two degrees I tell you! Can't you people toughen up?! I was hoping to take a vacation this year! You can pick - One less layer now - or a picture in front of Mount Rushmore in July!!!!"
Any trip away from the house has to be weighted as to whether it's worth going out into a cold car twice.
A run out for milk? Hmmmm....as quick as ten minutes and that's if I'm in and out and nothing else catches my eye.... probably doable.
A two hour movie at the local theatre - absolutely not. My daughter and I shun a chance to see Sherlock Holmes last weekend because we knew after two hours idle in the parking lot we'd have to relive the pure agony of the warming-of-the-car, chattering-of-the-teeth-full-blast-blow-of-the-heater episode it would take to leave the house. Not worth it. (We have 100+ channels on cable where it's warm - We found something.)
Lucky for me I have no problem abandoning fashion for comfort. Ergo the daily bundling I've embarked on this week.
I'm not sure I'd care if Brad Pitt was in town and there was every chance we might end up at the same stoplight on Washington Street - I'd still be true to my layers.... earmuffs and mittens, wool lined jeans and clunky snow boots (not Uggs - I'm talking the real deal). It is what it is. Take it or leave it Brad.
I have just six words to sum up the past week in this area.
"Respect The Power of the Parka."
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