Merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE HELMBERGERS!!

Ye ole' Christmas Tree and Bella.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Glad tidings to you and much holiday cheer.

Before we get started I have to forewarn -

Kyle's a real driver -- Keep yo' hands on yo' horns.

Not only that he shot his first deer -

Just in time for this letter of holiday cheer.

It wasn't real big...Oh, but it was a buck.

Hockey starts this week so he's moved on to pucks.

Our year was a full one with things good and bad.

And some heartbreak too - In March we lost my dad.

"Cancer," they said when the tests all came in.

We've spent most of this year - all missing him.

Kayla announced that this time next year -

She'll graduate college (And, man, we'll ALL cheer).

She just bought new wheels. A car sleek and new.

With a few bells and whistles and car payments too.

Kirstin is still taking classes and such -

But her life will soon change -ever so much.

We're all planning and primping and doing things now

For New Years when she and Ben say their vows.

We've added a puppy to our house, too, this fall.

His name is Miller - and he comes when we call.

Not after the beer!! Jeeze...Holy Moly!

Kyle named him (sigh) after a goalie.

Merry Christmas! Here's wishing you all of the best!

And a year that is nothing, nothing but blessed.



Cheeee Cah Go!

A Shopping We Will Go.... Ah, Went

Went to Chicago with friends for a while

we shopped up and down the Magnificent Mile - 

We scooped up cute jeans and all kinds of shirts

And the four of us walked until all our feet hurt.

One friend who lives there took us to the sights - 

We took them all in and slept good at night.

We strolled like the locals to all the cool shops

and walked and then walked and rarely did stop.

Except to refuel with some food and some drink.

And a little pause sometimes so we could all think.

For my daughter's wedding - I needed a dress

and said, "This is the place I could find one I guess."

I tried on a few said,  "Oh pew," and, "No thanks."

Then we went to the Wine Bar at Macy's and drank.

"It's $5 Friday!" the waitress declared.

So we decided to spend a little time there.

Suddenly it seemed like my task was quite small -

I went back to the fourth floor and tried on them all.

Some seemed too young for an oldie like me

Some seemed too short - I should not show these knees.

It'll be dead winter when they say their vows.

So I had to think temperatures colder than now.

"Bring me more dresses," I ordered, "Please?"

"Is there anything lined with a small touch of fleece?"

And finally a skirt and a top looked just fine

Of course we admitted - it could be the wine.

But I came away with an outfit to wear ...

I think I will dazzle when I show it off there.

That store was insane it had nine floors to take in!!!

(That's why we went once - and then went back again.)

And not just to pants, dresses and shoes -

But decided to revisit the Wine Bar again too.

At the Hancock Tower we looked at the view

Carrying packages of all of our things that were new.

We walked up and down and all through Navy Pier.

And picked up a couple of great souveniers.

There's a huge Ferris Wheel to ride while you're there

Two of us climed it without even a care.

It was kind of high up we decided too late.

But the view of the city was ever so great.

Seven short minutes and we'd made the trip 'round.

And they safely deposited us back on the ground.

I think I'll declare our trip a success.

We got pretty good bargains. And me? Ah, that dress. 

These friends were delightful for four days of fun.

I hope I can speak for most everyone.

To go in October it could have been cold

At least from the stories that we'd been told.

But the weather, I swear, was 60 and more.

So we were warm - even outside of the stores.

Chicago in the fall was a trip to remember

My dress I'll show off near the end of December.

The food was delish and our feet have recovered -

Go again?!!!!

Ah, Why yes! I think I'll have another.   

 (And that goes for the wine bar too.)

The drag of downsizing

Dude, this car is like, supercool, but I bet you're rethinking that minivan, huh?

THIS SUCKS and this blows (but both in a really good way)

I admit that I waste a fair amount of money on crap.


I see some new kitchy novelty thing and before I can come to my senses it grabs my money out of my wallet, jumps in my bags and shows up at my house when I'm unpacking my wares.
The hands-free, battery operated can opener that drives itself around the rim of the can? Got it.
The Magic Bullet?  Mine. All mine. 
The upside-down tomato planter...sigh, two.
The George Foreman Grill? Check.
The VHS three-pack Tae Bo workout? I curse you Billy Banks! My abs are no better than before I popped for the $30.


In my defense...no matter how many commercials they crammed down my throat over the holidays last year - I have yet to purchase a Snuggie or a Shoedini. Apparently I still have some self control.


But today ... today I am here to applaud a couple of new gimmicks that I saw, I bought, and am here to proclaim are sheer genius.

First of all let's talk odor (and things that blow).

The little area that houses our kitty litter is an assault on every nasal cavity that enters the door going from our garage to our house. I keep it clean, too, in a nazi-crazed-obsessed kind of way but with a couple of cats doing their jobs it's a pretty big task and occasionally the box emits an odor that tends to linger.  The Air Wick Freshmatic air freshener helps my cause.

It's a little can of air freshener that sits in a case and squirts itself (meaning I don't even have to run out there and try to head off company by five minutes to 'freshen up' the entryway. It's being done continuously - I told you, genius). 

It runs off a little timer you can set to spray every 9, 18 or 36 minutes. I hit things a little heavy with the 9 minute interval but like I said it can get a little stinky.

Drawbacks to the device? Refills are a little pricey but I'm a coupon girl for the right items and I have found some that save a buck and a half.
Also - this is also the same area my washer and dryer are in and since the air freshener goes off randomly according to the timer I'll be honest here and admit that on occasion I've been sprayed in the chest, the elbow, and once, the right lens of my glasses. Just a little something to keep in mind.




The other item I love? (And things that suck)
The Space Bag Vacuum Seal Bags.

I have this lovely blue tote that I've kept in my closet for about a decade. I use it to change out my seasonal clothes. In the summer it houses my fleece jeans, fleece vests and pull over... well...fleece sweatshirts. (Hockey Mom). 

In the winter the tote keeps my tank tops shorts and capris nicely tucked away. But it's a big darned thing and as a self proclaimed pack rat (nay, not hoarder) I hold over way more clothes than I need to but that's for another post.

Anyway - The space bags caught my eye. And I bought a couple. I brought them home and I proceeded to use one for my summer clothes.


OH.
MY.
GOSH.
Some things really happen just like the commercial!! When I had every stitch of air sucked out of the plastic the pile had wilted before my very eyes. What once fit in that huge, blue, closet-hogging tote now slides under my bed. I started to cry.
I fell so in love with the bags that I bought more! And then, a couple more. And I proceeded to tour my home looking for things to vacuum pack.
My spare bedding takes up nary a foot of closet space now.


Just doing it is fun. Pack 'em full. Suck out the air. Lock. Repeat.
I have actually laid in bed a couple of nights thinking about things I could vacuum pack. Which might mean I've taken it a little too far.
If I'd have known about those bags back when we were moving hither and yon every couple of years I would have had our entire load that took a semi condensed to a red wagon.
The box says they're waterproof and reusable which makes them perfect. Hopefully I'll never have to test the waterproof part but the fact that I can use them again, I think, makes the cost and owning them justifiable. Although Kirk did make himself chuckle the night I showed him my teeny, tiny, summer wardrobe.
I know he was secretly mildly impressed but as he stared at the newly compact pile (in awe perhaps) he said, "I hope the cat puts a hole in that and it fills up with air and you can't get it out from under the bed." Nice.


As seen on TV - some of the items are laughable.
Some I'm not sure how I ever lived without.

Before I go...and because some of you have been asking...This is Miller.

He's been ours for almost a week. He's a fast learner, too, cuz' in that time he's learned to fetch, come and sit. 
We've already got things down to a routine, too.
He pees and poops and I clean it up.
Wait...a...second...I'm thinking vacuum pack?

It's MILLER Time....

Good news... We're expecting!!
Take a deep breath. There's more to the story. 
Obviously most of you know that my eggs nearly qualify for AARP and any swimming going on isn't being done with any kind of distance or strength at all so you can deduct that we're NOT having a baby - at least of the human kind. Plus, I'd kinda be in a little trouble since Kirk had that special man surgery a bout a dozen years ago.

Just when things have slowed down at the corner of We're Almost There Boulevard and Easy Street we have decided to shake them up. The girls are in college, Kyle's made the big move to the high school and we're within three years of the finish line (i.e. empty nest) and now we've decided we're due for something exciting to happen (other than planning that wedding in December of course).

I suggested the adoption of an infant, just one more chance to do everything right since we kinds, sorta, might have messed up the other three kids we'd had - but hubba bubba didn't even let me get to the part about how cute all the new baby stuff is since our kids were little and how I still have some great baby names I never got to use before he shut that light bulb off with a quick flick of the switch.
He did...however...announce that he'd been batting around an idea of his own.
With three kids in youth hockey all those years and the number of winter nights we spent at home in our own beds in the single digits, the time had never been quite right to do it before.
He thought that now the timing was perfect and that...even though it wasn't quite the same as another baby we'd still get to hear the pitter patter of little feet, get to potty train it, teach it to speak and sit up all night with it.

It was, he declared, the perfect time to acquire a puppy.

"But wait!" I said, "What about all these cats???!!!" My husband has long held the opinion that as the kids leave I replace them with kittens and there is actually some truth to that. I haven't yet spoken to a counselor but there does seem to be some correlation. Besides, cat No. 1 is 16 years old and I thought it was getting close to the end so it seemed like a good idea to replace one old cat with the antics of two kittens. But that was two years ago and still today, the old cat lives on. How was I to know?

But back to the pup.  It's a springer spaniel and the kennel owners declare it already has 'great hunting instinct'.  Which is a big plus. My boys wanted a hunting dog. They also said it has 'high energy' and 'a real curious nature'. Translation:  hyper, crazy, barking lunatic???
We'll see.
We've met him briefly, making the three hour round trip expedition to take a little more of a look see than the photo on the Internet could offer. We had our choice of two. The other cried and whimpered our entire visit and this little guy came over to us,  nuzzled us in the neck one at a time and licked our cheeks all the while pleading with his eyes, "I'm cute, right? Take me home. I promise you will love me."

Kyle has already named him Miller. Interestingly enough NOT after the beer - which is what most of our friends will think - but after the hockey goalie Ryan Miller.

The black and white pup to be named Miller-but-not-after-the-beer, will be ours on Saturday. Tonight after church the boys and I scooped up some needed supplies for his much anticipated arrival. Instead of teething rings, bibs and pacifiers I took collars, leashes, chew toys and kibbles to the check-out ... as well as DVDs of both Old Yeller and Where the Red Fern Grows. (Sometimes I can't help myself!!)  

The girls say we are mean. That we deprived them of the love of a dog their entire lives and now, now, we decide to get one.  The cruelty. We assured them they will have liberal visitation and have been designated official dog-sitters.

This is actually not our first dog. Back in BC (before children) we had another dog. She was a light brown lab and possibly six or seven other things and we called her Libby after a town in Minnesota where we stopped to let her go potty the day we got her.  Each night when my hubby came home from work she was so excited to see him that she immediately peed at the front door. Every. Single. Night. 

Our fondest Libby memory of all is the time my husband rushed me to the emergency room, eight months pregnant, in the middle of the night. We had woke up lying in a large wet spot on the bed. We sped to the ER declaring my water had broke and birth was surely eminent only to find out the wet spot in our bed wasn't amniotic fluid at all - but dog urine.
Libby the pee-er was hit by a car near my parent's cabin one weekend and it has taken 21 years to think of giving dog ownership another shot. 

But I think we're ready. The question is...Is Miller-not-after-the-beer ready for us? 
I'll keep you posted.

Okay... but guess my weight??? Who thought of that???!!!!!!

The end of summer brings such a sense of loss that it's only fitting there is a monumental, landmark event to console us through the pain.
An event so noteworthy, exhilarating, and dare-I-say, even educational, that some of us look forward to it with the greatest anticipation the entire month of August.
And. Now. It's here.
It's state fair time in the Gopher State.


I lived the entire first half of my life having never gone to the state fair. Sure, up on the Iron Range we had the St. Louis Country fair in Hibbing when I was growing up and that was a pretty big deal in its own right but I don't know how I ever lived for twenty-ahem-some years without knowing the pleasure of a free yardstick, multiple glasses of all-the-milk-you-can drink or the knowledge of the shortcut that takes you from there to the Sweet Martha's Cookie stand to get the perfect accompaniment.
For the first five years after I got married we lived in the cities and my husband, who was well aware of the magic of the fair having gone while he was growing up, took me once, twice, and sometimes even more in one season.
The first few times we went as a two-some, walking hand-in-hand listening to the vendors in the grandstand and perusing the offerings of the bazaar. Sometimes we even took in a concert by a national headliner. Later I hobbled, pregnant belly protruding into the crowd, searching every half mile or so for a suitable empty seat and the perfect food to fill an odd craving.
Later we pushed strollers and held on to toddlers learning to incorporate a break for naps and ice cream into our visits. Only once did we misplace a child and only for a few moments next to the water ride.

One of my favorite state fair memories is the year our middle daughter, desperately desiring one of the big teddy bears from the midway tried and tried and tried until all of her change was gone to win one. On the verge of sobbing - and a pending meltdown she pitched a diddly of a toss, the ring spun around the bottle and a big blue 6' tall bear belonged to her. 
Then she discovered how impossible it is to lug a big teddy bear through the crowd at the fair and how hard it is to get someone else in your family to do it, too.

We've made great purchases at the fair. Miracle cleaning cloths that can be reused forever and ever and ever, personalized Christmas ornaments and bird houses.Wedding gifts and birthday presents have been bought during trips to the fair. And every year, even though we swear we won't stop, we still end up standing somewhere along the walkway oohing and aahing at a new item, sucked into the pitch while a demonstrator explains why their product is the must-have item of the year. Then there's the learnin' part. You can't visit all those booths about animals, vegetables, and natural resources without picking up at least one thing that makes ya just a little smarter.

We eat gyros for our biggest meal of the day and I always get my wedding ring, (original cost $269 with my college roommate's employee discount) cleaned with pocket change. When they're finished it looks good as new. And since my husband always patiently waits with me on the sweltering hot second floor of the grand stand for my ring to shine and for me to walk through slow moving lines to gather free tote bags and yard sticks I return the favor by going to the animal barns and machinery hill with him.


During the years we moved away from Minnesota for a couple of fair runs but whenever possible we still managed the trip back during the fair.  Sometimes with our kids, sometimes with friends, occasionally alone.
This year when the commercials began and the news channels talked about beginning their live broadcasts from their assorted booths I marveled at how in a couple of years it will be only the two of us visiting the fair once again..........although ...apparently not for awhile.

Because while we can barely get our cool kids who are all in college and high school now to go to a movie with us for fear a friend might see they have parents or walk beside them through the aisles of a grocery store - when we talked about making a trip to the Minnesota State Fair the other night at dinner every one of the three kids we've introduced to the big pig, the caramel apple sundae and the DNR booth yelled, "I'm coming!"

BOOBS or BANGS?

In the age of the fanciest of gizmo and gadgets and electronic calendars in all shapes and sizes I still choose to shun them all. I rely on an archaic system that involves a handy dandy paper and pencil black book planner with a month-at-a-glance, a pencil with an eraser, and a paper clip to mark the date. 
It's how I roll.
It's what I understand.
It's a system I am a slave to.
I am nothing without the black book planner.

A rebel against modern day conveniences I tuck the planner under my arm, tote it around hither and yon and refer to it daily to see where I should be and when. When I'm setting up an appointment or in a meeting and everyone else grabs their phones and other hand held devices I dig out the black book - which, incidentally, is only a bit smaller than the Qwest Dex phone book.

With such a steel proof method to keep my important notes, appointments and reminders it's a wonder I managed to double-book two 
very important
appointments on the same day last weel.
One being my mammogram and the other being, well, another pressing, hard-to-get appointment with, ah, my hair stylist.

When I realized my predicament I deeply pondered the dilemma, "Well this isn't going to work," I thought and called the hospital and cancelled my mammogram.

For roughly 23 seconds.

I wondered as soon as I'd hung up how it could be that highlights in my hair would weigh the more important of the two options. A look in the mirror confirmed the dire need for the hair appointment and I already knew how long it could be before the stylist could squeeze me in again, but the real quandary is -
What does that say about me?!

Well, first of all it says
a) I realize how hard it is to get an appointment with a good stylist.
b) I'm pretty much anxious to look for a-n-y excuse to not show up for an appointment that consists of prodding, poking, probing or pinching any of my female areas and that probably isn't that unusual,
but it also says
c) I am now a shallow, simple person who would choose to replace my sickly, dark roots with beautiful, bright blond ones instead of showing up for a screening that could save my life.

So... in the end I realized I had momentarily lost my mind and my better sense prevailed. I called the hospital right back.

"Hi, I just called a minute ago to cancel my 8:30 on Monday for my mammogram and I'd like to reschedule it please."
"The same appointment?"
"Yes. For 8:30 a.m. on Monday."
"The exact same appointment?"
"Ah, yes."
"At 8:30 a.m. on Monday - just like you had?"
"Yes. Is it gone already?"
"No. Just checking. You want to reschedule the same exact appointment for the same exact time you just cancelled for?"
"YES. (sigh) I thought I had a conflict (dark roots) but I don't so I'd like to just come in for the mammogram (not really but my guilt is weighing heavy)."
"Okay, I've got you down. Thanks for calling (you unorganized goof that probably has a hair appointment conflict that you double booked by using a planner made out of paper instead of using an electronic device that would have saved us all this hassle) Have a good day."


The good news is...I did the right thing and showed up for the mammogram and received the letter yesterday that the test was fine.

And more good news...the hair appointment I rescheduled is in two days.
Dark roots be damned - it may be shallow your days ARE numbered.